Fierce, Gitaxian Librarian
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A far-from-comprehensive list of authors on Tumblr:
(all authors listed in alphabetical order by last name)
Rachel Alexander // @therkalexander
Laurie Halse Anderson // @lauriehalseanderson
Cassandra Clare // @cassandraclare
Zoraida Córdova // @wanderlands
Samantha Shannon // @sshannonauthor
Shira Glassman //@shiraglassman
Alexa Black/A.M. Hawke //@fierceawakening
RoAnna Silver //@thesylverlining
Joy Demorra //@thebibliosphere
Erin Morgenstern // @erinmorgenstern
Seanan McGuire // @seananmcguire
A version with the covers!
I’m humbled and honored to have my work linked in this post.
(via queerdo-mcjewface)
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how do i know if i am a boy who is also a woman
Anonymous
well that is the sort of question a boy who is a woman might ask
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Have you REALLY lost your scissors if you aren’t walking around making scissor motions with your fingers in an attempt to lure them back out?
spellcasting with somatic compenents
this is a beautiful addition
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Feminizing HRT Overview, Guide & Information for All People Seeking It
we also have a version of this post for testosterone/masculinizing HRT as well. we wanted to write a companion piece as many folks have asked about this. it has take a bit of time, but here we are!
The testosterone HRT post is here.
Getting Your Prescription
To start taking estrogen, you will need to find a general practitioner, family doctor, endocrinologist or informed consent clinic where you can discuss gender affirming care with knowledgeable staff. Planned Parenthood is a good option for many trans people in general. Your mental health may also be evaluated, and your heart health and screening for a few other health conditions, as well as having access to your family health history if possible will be required.
Check to see if you have medical insurance, either through your family, your job, or if you are low income, a program like medicaid. Search for low income insurance plans in your area if it is needed, many places offer insurance plans for those who can’t afford care on their own.
Here is a map of informed consent HRT clinics in the US.
You will discuss any gender dysphoria, gender presentation needs, if you have a support network, how you are impacted by your gender in your every day life with your provider and so on before being given a prescription. You will only be given a prescription after you discuss the risks of HRT and are screened for possible health problems and diseases or ways your body could react negatively to HRT. If you have needle trauma or phobias and can’t inject hormones, it’s best to bring it up before you get your prescription to save time and confusion.
The Medications
Treatment typically starts with spironolactone (aldactone), an anti-androgen that blocks androgen receptors (“male” sex hormones) for a few weeks, and then add estrogen, but many folks start with spiro and estrogen at the same time. Spiro will lower the amount of testosterone your body makes. For some people, spiro isn’t necessary at all!
Some forms of spironolactone are reported to make folks pee like crazy, others do not have as bad of a time with it. Your mileage will vary depending on manufacturer. Spironolactone is intended to be a blood pressure medication, meaning it is a diuretic and is intended to help your body flush out fluids + salt. You will need to keep yourself hydrated if you notice this effect, as well as increasing electrolyte intake where possible.
Estrogen also lowers how much testosterone your body makes, and triggers changes in the body that occur during puberty in afab & adjacent people. Estrogen can be taken several ways, and is usually taken daily, and several times a day. You can take it in a pill or shot, and several forms of estrogen that can be applied to the skin like creams, gels and patches.
Make sure you thoroughly sanitize the skin of any injection sites or areas you will be applying gel or patches. If you are given topical estrogen, make sure you wash your hands after application and do not have someone else apply it for you. Make sure you do not go swimming or shower within several hours of application to make sure your skin absorbs the hormone.
You may not need to take anti androgens if you are doing estrogen injections, depending on how effective the estrogen injections are for you. Some people may not end up needing anti-androgens at all, and may be able to skip that entirely as spiro has unwanted side effects. Your natural hormone levels will dictate whether or not it’s necessary, but it is not necessary for everyone.
You may end up being recommended to switch from one form of estrogen to another as your transition progresses, depending on how your body responds.
It’s recommended to not take estrogen as a pill if you have personal/family history of blood clots in a deep vein or in lungs (venous thrombosis).
Some people also end up taking progesterone as well alongside estrogen. Progesterone is typically taken to encourage breast tissue growth, as this is the most prominent effect of the hormone. If sufficient breast tissue growth isn’t seen from estrogen alone, progesterone can be added to your regimen, though this is only done later on into treatment, around a year or so in.
If you choose injectable estrogen, make sure to listen to your provider and ask for instructions about how to use needles and syringes, as well as injection angles, how and where you’ll be injecting. Do not inject in the exact same spot every time, this can prevent the issue from healing properly and create scar tissue or cause infections or skin tissue necrosis (death). You also need a sharps container to safely dispose of your needle tips. Never re-use a needle, even if it was used previously on yourself. Always ask the pharmacy if you need more needles. A lot of places let you get them in bulk.
If you are going the injection route, make sure you know whether or not you are instructed to do intramuscular or subcutaneous injections. Intramuscular injections usually taper out of the system more quickly and need to be done more frequently, where as many patients find subcutaneous injections less painful and easier as they can be done less frequently.
For more information on safe intramuscular or subcutaneous injection for estrogen, please read here.
Another option for feminizing HRT is to take gonadotropin-releasing hormone (Gn-RH) analogs. They lower the amount of testosterone your body makes and may allow you to take lower doses of estrogen without using Spiro. Gn-RH analogs are usually more expensive, but are an option if for whatever reason the conventional route can’t work for you.
DON’T GIVE UP IF YOU DON’T SEE THE EFFECTS YOU WANT TO SEE RIGHT AWAY! Many of them can take a long time to develop, often times patience is the key. If you wait it out and still don’t see the results you’d like, you can try another route. Don’t give up, a lot of people get deterred in the early stage of transition, you’ll get there with patience and communication.
Stay patient, stay positive!
What to Expect from Feminizing HRT
- Less facial and body hair growth: typically happens 6 - 12 months after treatment starts. Full effects within ~3 years on average.
- Slower scalp hair loss: begins 1 - 3 moths after treatment begins. Full effect between 1 - 2 years on average.
- Softer, less oily skin, and changes in general skin texture: 3 - 6 months after treatment starts, full effects within 2 - 3 years on average
- Rounder, softer features including face and body, and more body fat: 3 - 6 months after treatment starts, full effects in 2 - 5 years.
- Breast development: begins 3 - 6 months after treatment starts, full effects within 2 - 5 years on average or more, according to medical studies, but it can vary wildly from person to person, give dosage and hormones taken. If desired effects are not seen, progesterone can be taken alongside estrogen to help after around one year on estrogen. When breast growth begins, it starts with hard lumps under the nipples along with some soreness and itchiness. Some have sore breasts for a long time, and some may get scared and think they have cancer during this stage. Breasts will be swollen and tender for good while, and nipples may be especially sensitive to even light touch.
- Reduced muscle mass/density: 3 - 6 months after treatment starts, full effect in 1 - 2 years on average
- Potential decrease in libido if on estrogen alone, though not guaranteed: If it happens, it’s generally within 1 - 3 months in and can last a while, but may even out over time
- Fewer erections, decreased ejaculate volume, and erections that can become painful or uncomfortable if frequent erections are not maintained. This begins 1 - 3 months after treatment starts, and the full effect is within 3 - 6 months. Regularly maintaining erections and frequent ejaculation can ease some of these uncomfortable feelings in some people.
- Changes in how orgasms feel, changes in texture and degree of sensation of penis and scrotum skin as well as changes in body odor: typically begins within 3 - 6 months, though it varies from person to person. Often times the way one’s body responds to orgasms completely changes, many people find themselves experiencing full-body orgasms and more intense erogenous zones elsewhere in the body other than the genitals.
- Smaller testicles, or testicular atrophy happens within 3 - 6 months and the full effects are usually seen within 2 - 3 years.
- Increase in size of bladder and decrease in size of prostate over time which can lead to making one’s gspot harder to find, and make prostate examinations more difficult, though they are still vital, as prostate cancer is still a possible factor.
- Potential mood fluctuations while adjusting to the hormones, many report increased crying and sadness during the first 3 - 6 months with this tapering off after a full year at most.
- Increased fatigue while adjusting to the hormones, sleepiness and becoming easily exhausted are common reports. This can vary drastically from person to person, ymmv.
- If you have testicles and choose to have them removed, you may need to take testosterone as well as estrogen in order to have a healthy endocrine system. You will need to discuss the effects of this with your specialists if you want to go this route. If your androgen levels get too low because your body cannot synthesize enough testosterone after bottom surgery, you may need additional medication.
- Potential infertility, though this is not a guarantee, and safe sex should still be practiced at all times. No timeline projected though the longer one is on E the more likely it becomes.
- Monthly cycles akin to menstrual cycles: these are not present in everyone, but many people report entering a cycle of extreme fatigue, body aches, abdominal cramping in the approximate area where a uterus would sit, headaches, and more for around the duration of a menstrual cycle (4 - 10 days on average).
- Progesterone inversely to estrogen can cause an increase in libido in most who take it, and is the primary hormone used for breast growth. Lactation may also occur while taking prog, if this happens, talk to your doctor right away.
Keep track of your progress when and where you are able, and don’t be afraid to bring up any concerns you may have with your professionals or trans friends, or any other trans resource. Your transition is in your hands and you’re allowed to modify it as you see fit. If you do not see the effects you want from traditional HRT, you may be able to seek the Gn-RH route, and if you aren’t seeing the results you want from just estrogen, progesterone might be of use to you.
You will need to keep an eye on your bone health as high levels of estrogens can increase your chance to develop osteoporosis, and potential new cancers like breast cancer may arise, as well as heart problems. Getting checkups as frequently as possible and communicating with your doctor/s will be of great use when and where possible
Either way, we hope this helps in some way! We will add to it as we find/think of more information. Good luck to everyone seeking feminizing HRT, you deserve to look and feel like yourselves!
(via failure-artist)
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thought they needed a little reminder that they still have far more to lose if they double down on this stupidity.
spread the word, it seems they’re… very forgetful about this.A small collection (feel free to add):
@staff You’re not very subtle.
@staff what in the fuck
(via thewakalix)
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Another weird thing about the difference between the way Tumblr posts supposedly by narcissistic people and YT vide about “why’d that mean person act that way? Well if they’re narcissistic, it might be x” is
The tumblr posts very rarely talk about image, where the analysis YouTubes do a lot.
According to the YouTubes, people who are narcissistic are VERY invested in how things look. The classic idea is someone who wants to be fawned over, like a celebrity or a cult leader, but… like the stuff where I’m thinking it resonates about my mom is…
It’s not that she saw herself as glitz and glamor (which is why I never would have wondered if narcissism could be part of the traits, until I started researching covert narcissism and a lot felt familiar), but there always WAS an endless obsession with how we looked and how I looked.
“You can’t look like Annie Lennox, she only gets to look like that because she’s famous!” “People might think you’re a lesbian, we can’t have that.” “Grandma will drop by and see this mess.” “Everyone is staring at us when you’re loud in public.” “That’s not what good Christians do” (said when I didn’t want to be seen being helpful, not when I didn’t feel charitable.) “You don’t want to wear that.”
It was exhausting, and I’ve only begun to realize most people don’t grow up hearing it constantly.
I talk very often about how I’m neurodivergent and awkward, and my therapist tells me she really doesn’t think I’m that strange. She might be biased because she knows me, but I’m beginning to think I rebelled against the endless “let’s look good” with “I can’t do that. That makes me a freak. But I’m not bad! Being a freak is good. Fuck yeah freaks!”
It’s funny how tumblr is so keen on how we talk about narcissism but doesn’t seem to mention how tiring image obsessing Can get.
It’s one of several things that make me wonder if tumblr and YouTube are talking about different neurodivergences entirely.
(For a trivial example: I would imagine the people I’ve met who act like what I’m describing would be affronted if you asked them about masking or said they’re secretly insecure, where the tumblr people talk a LOT about how much masking is unfun and really stinks.)
Oh and my absolute favorite, which she expressly waited to say until *after* I turned 18, decided to get a tattoo, chose what and where, and made an appointment with my doctor to discuss the risks and know what to get tested for when afterwards:
“That’s the drug addict spot. Everyone who ever sees you will think you have a problem with IV drugs. You don’t do drugs! You don’t want everyone to think you do, do you?”
I very publicly told her off. But I never got the tattoo. Every time I thought about wanting it I found myself imagining people looking at me and thinking I was somehow bad and worthless, and I couldn’t feel happy and excited about art on me any more.
I still want more body modifications, and still have only a few.
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Another weird thing about the difference between the way Tumblr posts supposedly by narcissistic people and YT vide about “why’d that mean person act that way? Well if they’re narcissistic, it might be x” is
The tumblr posts very rarely talk about image, where the analysis YouTubes do a lot.
According to the YouTubes, people who are narcissistic are VERY invested in how things look. The classic idea is someone who wants to be fawned over, like a celebrity or a cult leader, but… like the stuff where I’m thinking it resonates about my mom is…
It’s not that she saw herself as glitz and glamor (which is why I never would have wondered if narcissism could be part of the traits, until I started researching covert narcissism and a lot felt familiar), but there always WAS an endless obsession with how we looked and how I looked.
“You can’t look like Annie Lennox, she only gets to look like that because she’s famous!” “People might think you’re a lesbian, we can’t have that.” “Grandma will drop by and see this mess.” “Everyone is staring at us when you’re loud in public.” “That’s not what good Christians do” (said when I didn’t want to be seen being helpful, not when I didn’t feel charitable.) “You don’t want to wear that.”
It was exhausting, and I’ve only begun to realize most people don’t grow up hearing it constantly.
I talk very often about how I’m neurodivergent and awkward, and my therapist tells me she really doesn’t think I’m that strange. She might be biased because she knows me, but I’m beginning to think I rebelled against the endless “let’s look good” with “I can’t do that. That makes me a freak. But I’m not bad! Being a freak is good. Fuck yeah freaks!”
It’s funny how tumblr is so keen on how we talk about narcissism but doesn’t seem to mention how tiring image obsessing Can get.
It’s one of several things that make me wonder if tumblr and YouTube are talking about different neurodivergences entirely.
(For a trivial example: I would imagine the people I’ve met who act like what I’m describing would be affronted if you asked them about masking or said they’re secretly insecure, where the tumblr people talk a LOT about how much masking is unfun and really stinks.)
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Anyone else getting these creepy ads about cheerleaders in poses with their legs spread?
It’s weirding me out in ways porn doesn’t, because with porn I know this person posed for photos/scenes intending that I think of sex. Where these images of a cheerleader jumping just… if I was looking at someone jumping and I happened to think about sex that’s just brains being brains, but seeing them sold as sexy just makes me “…does this young person know her images are being presented in a sexual context? Is that okay with her?”
I’m raunchy as hell and I like girls… but I’m not gonna involve people who aren’t interested! Sheesh.
Tumblr no. Tumblr do not.
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Rereading jkr’s terf manifestó and getting to the point where she says “if testosterone had been available when I was a girl the allure of leaving womanhood behind would have been too great” and just
The only people I know who find the idea of leaving womanhood behind too alluring to resist are trans.
Are you SURE the seduction you feel is experienced by all girls, and not just how repression feels?
Because it sure sounds a lot like me in my brief anti kink phase.
“Everyone wants to do this but everyone else is strong willed enough not to try. I WILL NEVER SUCCUMB.”
“Um actually we just think bdsm sounds weird. Like not in a bad way, just in a ‘why’ way.”
“…Wait, what?”
“Yeah that’s just you. Be less mean to yourself and enjoy the leather.”
“WHAT.”
Honestly, from what I’ve observed, a lot of otherwise Very Privileged (mainstream priviledged? Basic??) women (cis, white, 20s-30s, straight, etc) often interact with their Women Are Oppressed narrative in a way that’s more …hm. Romanticized?
Like, 80s era fantasy novels about women breaking into a men’s only field were ubiquitous. So were Harry Potter fanfictions were an OC was introduced to the Slytherin house and fighting to be the first girl to be on the Slytherin Quidditch team (despite there canonically being girls on the Slytherin Quidditch team); dark romance (and ESPECIALLY mafia romance) often fucks with very reductive gender roles – women are sold into arranged marriages by their families, abused & enslaved by the men in their life (but in an erotic way), forced to prove that despite being women they’re still as good as the guys, geniuses waiting for the right man to come shine the spotlight on their work etc; Historical romance also fucks with gender roles – again with the idea of being the first woman to do xyz. Warrior women in fantasy romance (and fantasy books in general, but uuuh I mostly read romance these days) are so incredibly often rooted in rejecting femininity on the surface and then reclaiming that femininity when they find a man who will still respect them and allow them to be both feminine & a warrior.
Most of them don’t even involve crossdressing, unfortunately :/
“I wish I could have been on HRT back when *I* was a girl” definitely does not read as the standard way for a woman to deal with the oppression women face. Especially when that’s paired with all of her protagonists being men? And her other pen name being Robert Galbraith? Though at this point, I might be getting a bit too much into theorizing about someone else’s gender, and that’s a little rude, so I’ll shut up.
Yep. I’m not gonna say I think she should transition. Not my beeswax. But as a person who DID reflexively hate people who turned out to share traits with me…
I do think she might be happier eventually if she lets herself entertain the idea that transition is nórmal, and that she has the option of trying it if she wants, and of stopping should she dislike it.
It’s not a betrayal. Women will still exist if she is trans, and feminism will still be relevant.
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Fascinating thing from one of the YouTubes about growing up with narcissistic parents, #34842 (my paraphrase):
“A vulnerable narcissistic mom will often call herself ‘a people pleaser.’ She’s not actually—she doesn’t double check that the people are pleased. She’s motivated by image, and doesn’t realize that being impressed from a distance isn’t truly feeling seen.
Her daughter is more likely to become the REAL people pleaser, constantly checking to make sure Mom is happy and feeling like a failure because she never seems to get it right.”
Oh.
OH.
(Standard disclaimer: I am less interested in whether the label narcissist fits exactly and more interested in hearing people talk about dynamics I experience in ways that help me feel less alone.)
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Capping this because I want it on my blog but do not want to reblog it from a particular OP.
(This sort of thing is by the way why I’m opposed to “don’t call your abusive parents narcissistic.” It’s important to recognize that no personality style is constructed of pure evil! Yes.
But if you are someone who has “put all the shame on myself so I can still love you” as a defense mechanism, being told not to call the dynamic certain names is more likely to cause personal spiraling than to make you a wiser disability rights advocate.
You’re allowed to call your abusers names, and you’re allowed to think more about this and change your mind later, too.)
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i honestly hate the trans girl narrative that we were all always women no questions full stop. i get why it needs to exist and like i won’t break the orthodoxy right now but to be honest that isn’t really my experience. i was a boy who really desperately wanted to be a “girl” growing up, whatever that meant to me. now, i am a woman but i’m still that boy inside - he’s my inner child. it may not be the nicest truth but it’s my reality. it’s immensely sad. but i need to acknowledge him if im ever going to have a sense of continuity in my life. so yea that’s what the femboy stuff has been all about and why it feels so completely healing for me. its hot too yeah i know but i feel like i need to explain that it has a much deeper meaning to me than that as a “fetish.” it’s literally the narrative of my life, and me being happy enough with the results of my transition on a more or less every day basis to try and acknowledge and embrace the part of me i’ve always been the most ashamed of.
and also im really afraid of people saying shit because of this like “you aren’t really a woman and you definitely aren’t a lesbian!” bc i am still a woman. my adult self is a woman. acknowledging my womanhood meant acknowledging the 17 years of my life i spent fully dissociated from my body or any real sense of self, which was a terrifying thing to do that i think a lot of people would lack the courage for. and my lesbian and especially femme identity (to me, i’m a femme first, and a lesbian second) is incredibly important to my sense of womanhood. i had to embrace my womanhood to grow up, basically, and i delayed that for way too long. WAY too long. but i was still existing during that waiting time and i’m not going to just throw away 17 years of my life because it doesn’t make sense to dumbass queer discoursers. i’m a boy who grew up into a woman. ppl like me do exist.
Any time that we decide a particular trans narrative is wrong, we make it hard for people to talk about their lives. Totally unnecessarily.
it doesn’t matter whether we’re tabooing “I’m a woman in a man’s body” or tabooing “I was a boy and I’m a woman now.” It doesn’t matter whether we’re tabooing “I was born trans” or “I was like twenty and decided I’d be happier if I chose to transition.”
No matter what we try to stop people from saying, we’re forcing dishonesty on them, and the truth is more important than the official narrative.
I will gladly die on this hill. Don’t even try me.
Any way that a woman gets to be a woman is valid.
Yep. If you’re living as a woman, congrats, you’re a woman.
(Can I just say how weird I find the terf talking point that “trans women want us to act as if there’s no difference between us and them?” I have literally never heard any trans woman say they’re just like cis women. Ever. Just that they’re women too, so please stop deciding they’re Fetishes Georg and not counting them.
Really drives home that terfs think of womanhood as some kind of… club, not groups of people with related and overlapping experiences that VERY OFTEN aren’t quite the same.)
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Rereading jkr’s terf manifestó and getting to the point where she says “if testosterone had been available when I was a girl the allure of leaving womanhood behind would have been too great” and just
The only people I know who find the idea of leaving womanhood behind too alluring to resist are trans.
Are you SURE the seduction you feel is experienced by all girls, and not just how repression feels?
Because it sure sounds a lot like me in my brief anti kink phase.
“Everyone wants to do this but everyone else is strong willed enough not to try. I WILL NEVER SUCCUMB.”
“Um actually we just think bdsm sounds weird. Like not in a bad way, just in a ‘why’ way.”
“…Wait, what?”
“Yeah that’s just you. Be less mean to yourself and enjoy the leather.”
“WHAT.”
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Someone recently posted that “we’ve achieved something!” panel from mtmte and… I still have the reaction I used to.
That is, other people tend to say it makes the characters relatable and down to earth.
To me it makes them sound too stupid for any kind of Big Quest. It just slides a teeny bit too far into “is this character five? Should he be eating milk and cookies and watching cartoons, not hunting down a serial killer?” FOR ME and MY WEIRD BRAIN.
I get a similar vibe from Pratchett, though admittedly I never managed to finish one of his books, so I’m not sure how much the characters develop over time. Could be that by the end they feel ready, in ways JRo’s guys never did even when I stuck it out for long arcs.
Honestly starting to wonder whether it’s a British style of writing. She who must not be named is similar too (though I mostly got past it and enjoyed HP. To the point where it’s now funny to me that now that she’s a known terf, everyone is saying it was always mean spirited and we never noticed. I noticed and assumed it was stylistic, so I consciously ignored it.)
It’s funny to me too that a fair few of my friends eventually got fed up with JRo too, after having loved MTMTE for a long time.
I wonder if the thing that made me nope out early eventually got to be too much for them too, and I was just the one with the weirdly low tolerance.
So I seemed fussy at first but was just… one of the first to nope out.
